What could be a better way to start a month than with a Soft Core Friday post? And what a SCF post it is, too! First up, is the bidding adieu to Zombie Awareness Month with the ultimate bang, namely by my writing some zombie-inspired smut. When I had originally wrote this piece several months ago, it was more humorous than erotic, so I did a massive rewrite over the past few days (despite a summer flu) and I came up with something that I actually kinda love. Seriously the piece is not as whacko as you are probably thinking it is and I think that it’s one of my better written ones, so please check out Love Bites. Don’t be shy about leaving comments either because you can leave them anon, and I’d love your feedback.
And zombie smut was just the intro, peeps! Now onto the post!
Today’s SCF post comes courtesy of those “Fifty Shades of Grey” books. Bloody fucking hell I am so fucking sick of hearing about these books! First of all, they are so poorly written. They originated as fan fiction and it shows. Second, I just don’t get BDSM, and based on the way it’s written in these books the author doesn’t either. The only thing that I can conclude from their success is that people are really starving for BDSM stories, so here’s a little anecdote on the topic from my own experiences. Off we go then.
I’d met the guy I had been seeing while sparring in martial arts, so it’s probably not surprising that our sex always had a wrestle-y, competition for dominance to it.
“You are a bad girl and you should be tied up during sex,” he had told me one time while pinning my hands down.
I rolled my eyes. “You couldn’t tie a knot that would hold me, so I’ll pass.”
“Scared?” I knew he was trying to goad me, but it wouldn’t work.
“No, annoyed. I don’t have any interest in playing a stupid game.”
I thought that we were done with the subject until the next time we were having sex when he suddenly demanded that I hit him.
I ignored the first request, but when he barked at me again to hit him, I gave him a hard pat to the side of his face just to shut him up.
“You call that a slap? You hit like a fucking girl! I said to hit me!”
Now, there are three phases that you never want to say to me, at least when you are within my reach. I grew up with only boys so, “You hit/play/kick like a girl.” is one of them. None of the trigger phrases should be followed by an invitation for me to hit you, especially not this one, because chances are that I will.
In this particular case I drew my hand back and I nailed that fucker with a slap that would have made the most jaded pimp weep with pride.
He didn’t ask me to hit him again.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I broke my hand. (No, not really, but I find the idea is so hilarious that I almost wish that was true.)
That story probably didn’t titillate the way that you were expecting, so to make up for it, I’ll conclude today’s Soft Core Friday post with the next member of the Writes Like a Slut crew. I purposely wanted to make sure that I posted her pic on a SCF since she is the originator of the idea. I give you the hotness that is my darling Random Girl from Random Girl Blogs.