A Tale of a Klutz and a Halloween Scare

One of my personal favorite** compliments is when I’m told I’m a badass, mostly because with how many stupid things I’ve done – and continue to do – I don’t see how I can legitimately be one. Sure I’ve done a few that are a little badass like attacking a home intruder with pen and throwing a cheating guy’s keys down the sewer drain, but I’ve also fallen on the floor of my gym from laughing too hard and locked myself in a public toilet. The only possible way that I could truly rock the badass moniker is that I’ve learned to roll with my foibles and see them as comedies to be shared rather than embarrassments to be hidden. To illustrate this point, and in honor of (New Jersey’s) Halloween today, I’m going to share a tale of past Halloween scare.

**I’ve finally switched my spellcheck from UK to USA so the extra “U”s will be gone.

This tale took place during a time when I behaved incredibly un-badasstic, also known as my early teen years. A group of friends and I went on a Halloween “Walk of Horror” at a camp where you took a guided walk through the woods and masked monsters would jump out to scare you.

running scared, haunted house attrationAfter completing the walk through the woods, you ended in a section of the camp where there were a dozen or so log cabins. There was a bonfire blazing and we were rewarded with hot cigar and warm donuts for making it through The Walk of Horror. This next part is actually fairly genius on the part of the event organizers because we had been chatting and enjoying our donuts for about five minutes, feeling secure that the scares were over, when the sound of a chainsaw ripped through the air, and a guy dressed as Leatherface ran out from one of the cabins and came after us. Everyone screamed louder than I had ever heard a human scream and scattered in all directions. Had this happened in recent years I would have kicked the guy out of reflexive, but this was back before I had any kind of martial arts training so I ran along with everyone else. I did not even see where I was running but the last thing I remembered was the sudden feeling of plastic against my face and frantically thinking ‘OH MY GOD WHY CAN’T MOVE?’ and then I found myself on the ground with people staring at me. Apparently I had been so terrified that when I bolted I’d ran right smack into the wall of one of the cabins (which had been covered with black plastic for some reason) and knocked myself out.

I was embarrassed at the time, but luckily I outgrew being self-conscious of my klutziness and find it hilarious now. It’s a good thing I developed a sense of humor about knocking myself out because I’ve done it at least two more times since the events of this story.

Who else has a Halloween story to share? It doesn’t have to be embarrassing–although that will earn you extra Kat points for ballz.