The Year in Review 2011 Post

I usually avoid writing about events that I know every other writer is talking about on their blogs, but I’ve been doing the Year in Review thing for many a New Year’s now, so I’m making an exception.  I’m actually happy that this is a blogging trend and would probably follow it even if I had not been doing it for years because I’ve really loved reading everyone’s reflections on the past year.  This Year in Review is a little different than the previous years though because it was it was one year ago today, I started seriously blogging.   As a result, I don’t need to chronicle the events of 2011 in detail since most of the major ones are listed in the archives, that thing to the left that I call the “Athenæum” because I love ridiculously obscure words.  Instead I’m going to reflect a bit on how those events affected me.

Oh dear God she’s going to get introspective.

Yeah, this is likely gonna be one of those entirely skippable entries since I’ll babble and emote to the point that the entry will be just a squishy mess of fucking feely mushy mush that will make your teeth hurt.  Don’t worry, the next entry will be back to holy-shittery as usual though.  To those wise peeps who are jumping off at this point of the entry, I just want to say Happy New Year!  Thank you for helping make my year rock out with its cock out.~

Now on with the mushy-mush, heavy, thinky shit.

WARNING:  LAST CHANCE TO RUN BEFORE I START SENTIMENTAL BABBLING!

Writing has always been a huge part of me.  I was about four years old when I began drawing pictures and making up stories to go along with them.  Unfortunately, since I seemed to have a natural gift for writing pretty well, I took the skill for granted and never pushed myself to become better.  I think this had to do with my most hated emotion and the one that I seem to be fucking constantly battling: fear.  I was afraid to find out that “pretty well” was the best that I could do.  I was afraid that, while I might be a star in the Little League, that I could never compete in the Majors.  I’d done too much stagnating during the past five years though, and it was time to either face the truth if I sucked, or to stop making excuses and write like I’ve always wanted to do.  For whatever reason, I chose to blog as a means to figure out if my writing was shit or not, and it’s one of the best things I have ever done.

I’ve experienced several devastating losses in 2011, the first and the one with the largest impact was losing the job I had held for nearly ten years.  To fully appreciate what a loss this was you would have to know how impossible it is for me to stay in one place for very long, let alone ten years.  That alone is indication of how much the place meant to me, but also, losing my job resulted in the loss of many things such as a steady income, health insurance, several friends who I would no longer see every day, and just security in general.

2011 also saw the loss of a dear friend, one whom I still go to text when I have an urge to say something stupid and be called mental.  I could say more about her loss, but honestly it’s one that I’m still dealing with and don’t want to talk about.  Suffice to say it’s been pretty shitty.

If I had experienced either of these losses in the previous year, they probably would have been enough to send me spiraling back down into the walking ghost phase that I had been living since 2006, but fortunately this year had been enriched in ways that I could have never imagined.

What I’m getting to in a much longer route than I had anticipated was that this blog has made the difference for me this year.  Oh my God that sounds so fucking sappy.  On a writing level, it helped me to maintain a better–though still not brilliant–writing schedule.  It’s also given me some confidence that my writing might not be completely crappy given the amount of positive feedback that I’ve received about it.  My writing even led to my blog getting BONed, a honour that I’m still reeling over.  And if someone had told me that by the end of the year that I would have 800 people following my writing, I would have called them a filthy name.  It makes me think that perhaps my writing doesn’t suck.

On a personal level, I have formed some fucking brilliant relationships, and that is as amazing, if not even more amazing given my guarded nature, than the writing progress.  Jewels, Randy, Nicki, even S.O., and quite a few others that I’ve mentioned in past entries (see my Blog roll for more), were all people that I did not know a year ago, and cannot imagine not having in my life now.  They, and all of you dear readers, are a blessing that I never, ever saw coming.

patron, tequila

Drinking baby Patrons.

I’ll wrap this squishy package up by saying that while 2011 punched with some heavy fists, I was also held by some gentle hands.  The glass of Tequila is always half full.

Unless it’s my glass, in which case it’s empty.

Not because I’m a pessimist, I just love Tequila.

Best Wishes for Happiness, Health and Kicking ass for you all!

Slàinte! (<—Scots Gaelic spelling, as opposed to my usual Irish version, in honour of Auld Lang Syne)

100 Times 7 Is Me Talking A LOT!

7 x 7 blog awardSeveral months ago I was tagged a the “7×7” meme by the lovely Nikki at My Cyber House Rules. (If you’re not reading her then you really need to check out this kickass roller derby chick.) It works out well that I hadn’t done the meme yet though because it’s perfect for my 100th blog post. Which this is.

I originally had something else in mind for my 100th post, but I would have needed to do some creative preparation and I ran out of time. I’m storing the idea though and I’ll bust it out on another time, like for my 143rd entry or something.

In the mean time here is the 7×7 Meme!

1. My Most Beautiful Post
It’s so difficult to choose since all of my posts are overflowing with eloquence and beauty.

Oh wait.  I meant that it’s so difficult to choose since all of my posts are overflowing with profanity and sarcasm. Right, right…

Okay, I guess I’ll go with “Skippable Red Entry“. The introduction is my usual ridiculous burblage, but the entry itself is based on the Studio 30+ Prompt “red”. I did a poem for the prompt and I thought that it turned out kinda pretty. I also received a lot of very kind feedback from it, which meant much since this was the first post I did that was creative.

2. My Most Popular Post
This way easy enough to find since my little sidebar gadget already lists the most popular posts, and sitting at the numer uno spot is “A Very Kat Sidhe Christmas”, because you can’t spell “dysfunction” without “fun”. You also can’t spell “unconscionable” without “scion”.

Also, isn’t it interesting that “brood” can mean “descendents” or “to worry”?

Vocabulary can be fun, kids!

3. My Most Controversial Post
This is surprisingly difficult. You would think that with all my cursing, drinking and writing smut that I would have stirred up some time of tempest, but I guess I do it with such charm that I can get away with it. I guess I’ll go with “How Not to Write Smut” since it’s pornographic writing. Very horrible pornographic writing, but pornographic just the same.

4. My Most Helpful Post
My posts are like oysters with each one containing a pearl of wisdom. I seriously should be living on a mountain in Tibet with pilgrims scaling snowy peaks to seek my sage council. I’ll go with “How To Have a Lasting Romantic Relationship” though.

That’s right, eat your heart out Anne Landers.

5. A Post Whose Success Surprised Me
I could go with a number of entries listed in the “Greatest Hits” sidebar, but I know that a few of them are only popular because the pictures in them show up in images searches and that’s why they are clicked.

Can it be a page? Fuck it, I’m going with a page.

My “About Me” page gets a lot of reads and that surprises me.  It’s apparent from my entries that I’m a disturbed person and I’d think that people wouldn’t want to peer further into my brain.  For God’s sake, you might fall in and then you would be fucked!

6. A Post I Feel Didn’t Get the Attention it Deserved
I’ll go with “Here. Which Is Short For ‘Here I Am Rock You Like a Hurricane”, since I wrote it when I had about ten followers and it’s another entry about my habit of doing things without thinking.

7. The Post That I am Most Proud of 
You know what I writer freak I am? It’s really bothering me that the title there is written in incorrect English. I could fix it, but I cut and pasted this meme and I’m too lazy to correct it.

At the risk of sounding sappy, conceited and just like an all around prat, I have to admit that, as ridiculous as most of my posts are, I’m actually proud of them all.

As I said in my Thanksgiving post, whether a post of mine is a lot of goofyass nonsense or if it’s a serious one, I’ve always tried to still be myself.  I can stand behind all of them and say that they are me, and that’s admittedly been scary at times. There’s been fear that people wouldn’t understand my warped sense of humour and not find me funny, and then there’s been the fear that, after people did find me entertaining, that they would reject me when I chose to be serious. Despite the risk though, I would hate myself if I wrote something I didn’t believe. I think that Harlan Ellison said it best: “[Writing] means one will walk forever on the tightrope, with each new step presenting the possibility of learning a truth about oneself that is too terrible to bear.”

Thank you all for attending the circus that is my brain.

*BIG GROPING HUG*