“What Are We Going to Do Tonight, Brain?”

First things first, I want to announce the winner to the giveaway! Put your paws together for hilarious Working Dan from Shameless Promotions! He wins the “Therapy is Expensive, Tequila is Cheap” mug and I’ll be shamelessly promoting his site in the sidebar for all of January! Thanks so much to everyone who entered and congrats, Dan! (And on a sidenote, anyone can still get their own mug at my store here.) The next giveaway will probably be February–but don’t quote me on that.

Now on to the entry!

I’ve unfortunately been so busy with edits on my book and Christmas (I had the 12/25 post scheduled) and such that I haven’t had the time to share with you all something really, really fucking awesome that happened recently. Exactly two weeks ago today I received an email from the brilliant Louisa of Weezafish that she had received the “Writes Like a Slut” shirt that I sent her. The reason that this is major news because we had gone to great lengths to get this shirt to her since she couldn’t order it herself directly from my Zazzle site due to shipping restrictions to her location, namely South Africa. Check Louisa rocking out in her shirt, yo!

writes like a slut shirt

First off, Louisa would like you to know that behind her is a handmade African natural grass brush, and that her hair is not in fact frizzy like that.

Second, is a cute little tidbit (I cannot tell you all how much I fucking love that these pics always come with stories!) which is that this pic was taken by her five-year-old son with her camera phone after Louisa wasn’t satisfied with the ones that her hubby had taken with the camera. That’s commitment to the cause, peeps!

But the reason that I am extra stoked about Louisa getting her shirt is because a few weeks earlier I got a picture from Naty, one of the winners in September’s giveaway, that she had received her shirt, too.

writes like a slut shirt

I’d have been thrilled to know that Naty got her shirt no matter what, but what’s really cool is that this shirt made it to South America!

With the arrival of Louisa’s and Naty’s shirt, “Writes Like a Slut” is now featured on four fucking continents! There are members of the WLAS Posse in North America, South America, Europe and Africa! Keep your fingers crossed that 2013 will bring a WLAS in Asia, Australia, and if anyone knows someone heading to one of the research facilities in Antarctica we’ll take that continent, too!

So the answer to “what are we going to do tonight, Brain?” is of course:

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky… Try and take over the world.”

And we are doing it one t-shirt at a time.

“What’s Wrong With Your Face?”

“What’s wrong with your face?”

This was the question that greeted me on Monday afternoon.

I gave my coworker a dumbfounded look.
“I’d like to think nothing, but then I do occasionally have to sneak up on mirrors,” I rolled my eyes and returned my attention to my computer screen.
“No, your eye,” he said. “It’s like, really red.”
I shrugged, continuing to stare at the screen as I tapped away on the keyboard. “It’s probably allergies.”
Truth be told, my eye was feeling a little off, but a high tolerance for pain coupled with a lack of time to deal with such annoyance meant that the feeling was going to be ignored.

I left Job One and arrived at Job Two that evening.
“Whoa!” the coworker at Job Two exclaimed as I walked into the office. “What did you do to your eye, girlfriend?”
“I don’t know. Someone told me that it looked red, but I haven’t had time to look yet,” I replied as I clocked in.

bloodshot eye

Not my eye, but I won’t subject you to the real thing.

I went into the bathroom–since up until that point I hadn’t had time to pee that day–and made sure to examine my eye when I washed my hands. Sure enough, my left eye was a livid shade of red. Also, which added to the horrific effect was the fact that my eyes change colour–particularly under stress–so the injured eye look greenish, while the right was still brownish.

I came out of the bathroom and found my coworker.
“You’re right,” I told her, then added in an exaggerated Spanish accent, “I’m hideous in the face.”
“Maybe you should have an eye doctor check it out,” my coworker yucked it up. (We work for an Optometrist.)

The final verdict is that I have severe eye strain from wearing my contacts too long and staring for too many hours at a computer screen, coupled with a slight infection.
A writer staring a computer screen too long. Imagine that.

So this is why I’ve been neglecting ya’all this week. I hopefully will be back to full peeper status soon but I’m preparing to be told that I still have to be baby my eyes today.

UPDATE: I’m on two more new meds because my eye is still a mess. FML

UPDATE 2: I’m now on two NEWNEWNEW medications. The one medication is the worst eye drop yet because it burns like a motherfucker and dilates my eyes to the point that I look like some black-eyed demon like this–

black eyes

Again, not my eye, only because I can’t wear makeup until I’m healed.

–BUT the good news is that this drop is actually working to where I’m not in consistent pain anymore, so Kat is at least a (somewhat) happy demon now.