If you are my fraynd on the Facebook then you will see that my current status is that today’s originally scheduled post was not finished due to a visiting puppy. Puppy trumps all work. This is a fact.
However as I was perusing the Interbutz wasting time, I came across this cartoon and it made me snicker and I had to share it because I’m obligated to share amusing shit and also it explains my recent lapse in posting.
This is almost exactly what I have been doing for the past week and a half only instead of chopping wood I’ve been gardening. And while most people would yell at me for procrastinating on work that needs to be done on the novel (and rightly so but that’s an entirely different egg), I say that I had a legitimate excuse for all of this gardening. Namely that my mother saw a Hummingbird in the backyard and in my world this executes into tearing a part a Bonsai tree that has been growing wild for nearly two decades. (Don’t ask, just accept that this logic is normal for the circus that is my life.)
The hours of slaving in the sun and mosquito bites aside (and oh do I have one motherfucking spectacular rage-filled post about those assholes in the works) I actually think that I did a nice job in creating “Hummingbird Garden”. Mostly it seems to have made my mother happy and she puts up with a fuckton of my *ahem* eccentricity so it was worth it.
BEFORE
AFTER
That is all one tree that I had to tame and you would not believe the shit I found while taming it. Aside from the dude buried amongst the branches who thought that Reagan was still president, it was like an entomologist’s dream of freaky fucking insects that were jumping out of me. It was seriously like being in bloody Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Not cool since I’m still traumatized from my battle with the Carpenter Ants from Hell.
*Sorry about the picture being the wrong way. I’m still trying to remember that I can actually turn my phone.
Pure Zen in your backyard. Your mom could cry over that beauty now! Be proud, be very proud!
I have the opposite issue with video. I think I can turn the camera any direction I please and it makes for odd but often hilarious moments on film.
I love to follow the white rabbit, so here I am and “I used to play croquet as a kid, in the late *ahem* 60’s, early 70’s, but only briefly in the summer, as my grandma would not let us have the set to take home. We lived out of State. I was always jazzed by the stripey colors on the wooden mallets and balls. Do they still make them for kids?
She actually DID cry and at first I panicked because I thought she was crying that I cut away too much of her tree! It turned out that she really did like it though. =)
It looks amazing! Way to show that bonsai who’s boss! 🙂
NO TREE CAN BEAT ME!
WOW. You are amazing. I think you missed your calling. Who knows how many random people stuck in bonzai trees who think Reagan is still President. You can save them. 🙂
I’d need to get new pruners first though. I destroyed two pairs in the process of battling that sucker!
Lovely hummingbird friendly garden that is now!
Thank you! We’re just waiting for the hummingbird who started all of this to come back since of course we haven’t seen him again (yet?).
Wow it looks great! That must have been a lot of work. Gold star for you!
Yay gold stars! It was a TON of work, and a TON of leaves, twigs and bugs too!
Entomologist’s dreams………freaky fucking insects……..the HORROR! That’s one little corner of kinky fetishism I wish I didn’t know about. Thanks for sharing….think I’m traumatized.
I hadn’t thought about bug fetishes I was just talking about someone who studies insects but yeah, I guess that’s probably a fetish somewhere. People are fucking weird.
That is a truly lovely space now. Well done my sweet Kat! You and nature…who knew??
Thank you, love! I actually love nature but she does not love me back given that I’m allergic to nearly everything in her kingdom. In other words, it’s about par for relationships.
Here is a quote from the late, great Peter Cook. He was talking to somebody at a party who told him they were writing a novel. “That’s a coincidence”, Cook replied, “neither am I”.
Nice. 😉
Your garden looks so pretty now. Wanna come over and tame some of my jungle?
We have different bugs that can jump out and scare you 🙂
Some people say the pyramids were built by slaves. Personally, I think one procrastinating writer could have managed it.
+followed
Kat! I didn’t know you had a green thumb! Can you come up to Boston and take a look at our squash-less zucchini plants? And the wilting wax beans? And our slow-as-hell tomatoes? And…
In all seriousness, though, your Hummingbird Garden looks LOVELY.
I love it! It’s so pretty. You did a great job. Much of why I didn’t blog this summer had to do with gardening. I had such a lovely time and really enjoyed it. But I’m over it now. All the plants can die for all I care 🙂
LOL. That’s funny. Now I know what to do when I’m experiencing writer’s block.