Migrating From Blogger to WordPress While Battling an ICD Attack Was Not My Best Idea

Um, I guess you’ve probably noticed by now that the place looks a little different.

That’s because, in one of the worst cases of impulsiveness I have ever executed, I decided to migrate Katoninetales.com from Blogger to WordPress. I did this because I was having an Impulse Control Disorder panic attack and needed a distraction to ensure that I didn’t do something to hurt myself, and in a spectacular bout of irony ended up causing myself more pain than any of my vices could have done. This is because I don’t know shit about how computers and the interbutz actually work. As far as I know I click a button on my laptop and The Computer Fairy casts a magic spell to turn the computer screen into a window to Interwebz Land. Migrations are never easy but when you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing it’s like being dropped into a foreign country with a map written in Braille. And the Braille is in a different language. And you can’t understand what the natives are saying but you’re pretty sure that they’re making fun of your Fanny pack.

In other words, there are a lot of ways to fuck up a migration I did every single one of them.

First,

I Changed Servers Before Migrating My Site

To be fair to myself I will tell you that I did not expect my former host server to cancel my service as quickly as it did. I had emailed my host for my site’s EPP code (this is apparently the secret spell to unlock your domain registration) and they took it upon themselves to boot me off of their server at the exact moment that they emailed me back with the code. I found this out because my site went down late Friday. SURPRISE! I emailed my new server and asked them when my site would be back up. They of course emailed me back with basically “What site?” It was then that I learned that websites are not magic windows but actual files that need to be copied onto the new server while the old server still supports them “to ensure uninterrupted website service”.

Picard Facepalm Star Trek Fail

I Thought That Free Migration Meant From One Writing Platform To Another ie Blogger to WordPress

Anyone with any shred of computer knowledge is perfectly within their right to be laughing their ass off at me right now. I honestly cannot believe that I was so stupid except that I was so focused moving writing platforms that I had blinders on regarding the bigger picture of the server move. No it turns out that “migration” refers to those precious website files and moving them to the new server. This is important because as soon as you leave a host, they take all of your files and feed them to the troll that lives under the bridge and they are gone forever. And I had not moved my files.
Double Facepalm Star Trek Fail

I Assumed That The Live Chat Help Was More Than a Guy Typing With One Hand While Whacking Off With the Other

I immediately panicked and went to my new host site and clicked on the live help. I explained that I was a moron and realized that I changed servers before migrating my site and to please tell me that I didn’t lose my site forever. He asked my site name and then came back to tell me to submit a support ticket and disconnected me. I let the rudeness roll and sent an email to support apologizing for being a moron and asking how I could fix this. I was pleasantly surprised to get an answer after a few minutes but when I opened the email I saw that it was just to tell me to contact my old company. Fine, that makes sense.

I went to my old server site and tried to log in but it told me that my password didn’t work and that I could blow it. I politely asked to have my password emailed to me and received an email telling me that I could stick my password where the sun don’t shine would have to contact my new server company. What? I had no idea why my new company would have my old company password.

I replied to my new company’s email relaying this and they said that was because they were my server now. Well no fucking shit. I again got on Live Chat where the same guy asked for my ticket number and then told me to email customer support. I asked him if he couldn’t look at my ticket himself since he asked for the number and he replied, “No I can not.” and then disconnected me again.
Triple Facepalm Star Trek Fail
I immediately signed back on and as soon as he answered I replied that “can not is spelled cannot unless the not is part of another construction” and then I disconnected him. And let me just say here that I understand that computer people must want to pull their hair out when it comes to deal with computer-illiterate morons like me all day but this asshole didn’t even give me a chance before he hung up on me.

As a last ditch effort I emailed Google support since they overwrite Blogger and was told that I had to email the server company (my old company). So basically we were all playing Play The Kat.

Finally I did what I always do and fixed the problem my fucking self. It meant staying up for 24 hours straight on the computer to teach myself Internet protocol suite and then moving my site files–which I actually had backed up because I’m a fucking rockstar though they were not in the correct format to upload directly to a server.

So all of that bullshit said, my new site is up. Just please excuse my site’s temporary appearance because not only do I have to work my other job, but my brain’s server is fried.

32 thoughts on “Migrating From Blogger to WordPress While Battling an ICD Attack Was Not My Best Idea

  1. Congratulations are most certainly in order! If you want something done right, you indeed have to do it yourself. I’m glad you got it figured out, and I’m glad to see the site back up. I have missed it dearly.

  2. I’ve definitely considered the transition but everyone I know who’s done so has had to PAY someone to make it work properly… and I echo your horror in trying to do anything internet design related. I felt like a drunk toddler trying to recreate the Sistine Chapel.

    Either way, I know you’ll have a magical new blog home all decorated and ready to go for us guests in no time!
    Celia G. recently posted…You Can Keep Your Motivational Posters; I’ll Take Another BourbonMy Profile

  3. I’m glad you got it all figured out, and may I just say that the consistent “facepalm” upgrades pretty much made my day. :)

  4. Honey, I am so proud of you. I’d have cried. I took the easy way out, shut down one blog, lost all my content, and started a new one. Easy as pie. lol. Well upsetting and depressing but easy as pie. You. Are. A. Rockstar!!!

    • There were a few moments when I did consider throwing in the towel and saying “fuck it, I’ll rebuild again” but then my stubborn streak kicked in and I just gave up sleep to fight the bastard.

  5. Welcome to the dark side lovely lady.
    When I came over, I started a new blog and migrated the old one to a different blog as an archive but I was looking for a fresh start.
    You have my absolute admiration for doing what you did.
    You truly are a superwoman :)
    Mynx recently posted…Need vs WantMy Profile

    • I’m super or very mental since you’re correct and most people just make a fresh start of it. I of course had to bring all of the laundry with me. =P

  6. THIS… is the reason I haven’t tried to move my blog to a self-hosting site or domain map my existing WP free-site. And, I’m not a rock star, I don’t think any of my three years of posts are backed-up anywhere.

    The new site looks awesome, you done good.
    Tara R. recently posted…Months with an RMy Profile

    • Thanks, Tara! =D Since you’re already on WP it would probably be much easier for you to become self-hosted, but even if you didn’t want to do that, you could just buy a domain name and then it kinda look self hosted and will be even MORE easier if you change. =)

    • The first time I used WP was when I wrote for Tastes Like Comics and I didn’t like it at all (because I’m a person who doesn’t like change thrust upon me and was used to blogger). Now that I’m used to it and understand the format I do like it a lot more than the other platform.

  7. I went to look at WordPress to take a look around and nearly screwed shit up that way. Now I have to “log in” to WordPress to comment on WordPress blogs and change the info in the comment area from the WordPress info to my normal Blogger info. Because WordPress won’t delete your account. Anyway, it’s a headache for me, all because I wanted to see what the big deal was with a bunch of the blogs I follow were switching to WordPress. And then it just looked like a shit ton of work to switch. And I’m a lazy ass.

    Also? That live chat dude was an ass.hole. Hope he liked his grammar lesson for the day. lol
    J.Day recently posted…Aaaaaannnnnddddd Drum Roll PleaseMy Profile

    • I went to comment on another WP blog a few minutes ago and it acted rather wonky. I don’t know if this is because it’s kinda the opposite of blogger where you have a name and add blogs and here you make a blog and then add a user? I dunno. But either way, that guy was indeed an asshole.

  8. I’m still in the learning phase of the whole thing and am only waiting on my brother to finish my header picture, and then I’m moving, too. I didn’t sever my relationship with my Blogger server, yet, so it’s good to know! I had trouble finding out how to contact them to get them to unlock my site, but I guess it’s good I didn’t, yet.

    It’s possible, at the end of it all, I may just start a new site with a new name and just leave a link on my old blog. I don’t have nearly as much to lose as you do. We’ll see. But I’m glad I read this to prepare me!

    Sorry it was so difficult for you, but glad you recovered!!

    • It’s VERY confusing about who to contact because you, yourself, aren’t actually a client of the server host but GOOGLE is so it gets seven shades of fucking confusing when you try to contact someone. Yes definitely don’t ask them to unlock it until the last second because they kick you out immediately and it’s a bloody nightmare.

  9. I’m late to the party, but everything looks great! It sounds like all of the hassle was worth it. Unlike you, I fear change, and it already took an ungodly amount of work just to get our e-mail server up so that we can have official @abeerfortheshower.com email addresses. Migrating to another platform just sounds exhausting.

    • And it would be a particular nightmare for you guys because your posts are so image heavy. When you import your site it does bring the images but they aren’t formatted the same way so you have to edit every single fucking post. And on top of that? The images are still linked to your old blog so if you want to really do it correctly then you have to upload your images directly to WP. It took me two days just to do mine and I don’t have that many.

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