The Ballad of Seamus O’Horny

Having a boy dog has been quite a learning experience.

As I mentioned in my last entry, I adopted a boy Eskie and I wasn’t aware of how much I had apparently forgotten about boy dogs in the twenty years since I had one.

My first episode of male dog ignorance happened only a few days after I adopted Seamus when I came home from work and he greeted me by rolling over for a belly rub. As I was rubbing his belly I noticed two lumps on either side of his peen. Being the calm, rational person that I am I immediately assumed that he either had undescended testicals or lymphoma. Luckily I checked Vet MD and it turns out that Seamus was just rather happy to see me. Apparently this swelling can happen even if your dog is neutered, however I was soon to discover that Seamus is not. How I discovered this charming fact is because our family dog, Lily, was in the middle of her heat when I brought Seamus home.

Fuck my life and fuck it hard.

american eskimo dog, west highland terrier

I just about pee myself laughing every time I look at this pic. Lily is pissed!

Lily being in heat wasn’t an issue at first because Seamus was too nervous about his new surroundings to pay attention to Lily’s state. This was despite the fact that Lily was walking by Seamus and wiggling her ass at him like she was in a Ludacris video. As Seamus became more comfortable though he began to notice Lily’s booty dance and the next thing I knew Seamus was trying to get jiggy with it. Once he became interested then it became a fucking circus to keep the two of them apart. Lily would fluctuate between jumping at Seamus and shaking her ass to growling at him to get away from her. Seamus, on the other hand, was acting like a sailor on shore leave and would not stop sniffing, pawing and above all whining incessantly at Lily to get it on with him. This is what he would do while she was laying down, but he would kick it up a notch when she got up to walk somewhere by adding some pretty impressive acrobatics to his wooing. To my surprise I discovered that dogs can bounce–I’m talking all four paws leaving the ground at the same time in a vertical propulsion. Those Pepe Le Pew cartoons? Not an exaggeration.

Luckily Lily’s heat cycle is pretty much finished and Seamus has chilled out however we are keeping Lily’s little knickers on her just to be safe because she’s still having bouts of trying to seduce Seamus. (And before anyone considers getting sassy with me about Lily not being spayed I’ll add that yes she should have been spayed but she wasn’t and she’s going to be thirteen years old next week so it’s not happening; I’ll likely have Seamus neutered but my brain is still too fried from Kira’s vet adventure in March to think about it right now.)

Other than my horny dog, I’ve been writing away and my next post is actually going to be about that and not my dogs.


21 thoughts on “The Ballad of Seamus O’Horny

  1. Oh crap! Of all things! If you do get him neutered, maybe take him to a different vet? I love that picture, though. And dang he is handsome!

    I once dog sat my friend’s dog that was in heat, because she also had a male dog and didn’t want puppies. Kodi acted like June (the dog 🙂 was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen and made wide circles around her, ha ha ha.

    • OMG that’s too funny that Kodi was freaked out by her! He could probably sense that she was raring to go and was afraid that she was going to jump him. XD

  2. Oh my goodness. No grandma puppy birthing. WHat a way to find out. haha. Never a dull moment in your household!

    You gotta admit…they’d be cute puppies…just saying is all.

    • They’d be ADORABLE! If Lily wasn’t too old and there wasn’t already a pet overpopulation I would be very tempted to have some Eskie-Terriers.

  3. “Seamus, on the other hand, was acting like a sailor on shore leave and would not stop sniffing, pawing and above all whining incessantly at Lily to get it on with him.”

    That technique might work for dogs, but it most definitely does not work on women.

    I have an odd mishmash of dogs, so I’m glad none of them ever tried to knock each other up. For example, imagine Yoki impregnated by my Italian Greyhound. I don’t know what the puppy would look like, but I’m about 99% sure it would be absolutely hideous (I’d still love it though…).

  4. I couldn’t stop giggling as I read this post. I could almost see you investing in some sort of doggie chastity belt or something to try and keep those two apart. I’m glad the crisis seems to be abating, though. 🙂

  5. Lily is totally a cougar. Rawr. And a cradle robber (I have no idea how old Seamus is, but I’m betting younger than 13 lol)

  6. Ok, I am curious about Lily’s “little knickers”.
    They make knickers for doggies? Are they designed to stop puppies or a hygiene thing for doggies in heat. Or is this a kooky Kat fashion thing?

  7. UGH. Thank God Holly is alpha and they’re both sans babymaking parts, because I do NOT want to deal with this shit. Holly’d take his head off if Apollo tried to go all Casanova on her. (Though the thought of my awkward goofball of a dog being ANYONE’S casanova is hilarious to me.) You have my sympathies, love!

  8. Ha oh my word Kat. Sounds like you did all you could to keep them apart, doggies knickers! :):):) We had similar with a male puppy once, one of the neighbours dogs came into season and he literally tried to run through a glass door to get to her. Dogs are so friggin passionate!

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