Tuesday, February 12, 2013

When Mothers Yell To Bite Them

My mother is quite the pistol. Whether she's insisting that there is a  dead cow in the road or smashing apart an entertainment center with a hammer, she's an endless fount of entertainment. What I neglect to mention on here though is that my mother is the kindest, most loving person that you will ever meet. Seriously, Jewels can vouch for my mother's sweet personality and super hugs. Aside from her hugs she also does things like rescuing squirrels from swimming pools (long story) and catching mice with a set of tongs and taking them outside instead of trapping them. She also puts up with my shenanigans which automatically makes her a saint., but not only that has supported my dream of being a writer and never stopped believing in it when a lot of parents would tell their daughters to grow up and get a real job. Finally she is incredibly patient and despite being half Irish she has very a long fuse and doesn't easily lose her temper, and she rarely curses.

That is of course except during her daily trips to Farmville.

As I'm sure that anyone on Facebook knows Farmville is a virtual farm where the player can grow crops, build little buildings and complete missions. It's simply charming. Unfortunatly the game is full of glitches and between that and Facebook's new feed system where my mother's Farmville friends don't see her posts for them to help with the missions, she flips shit at least twice an evening.

 


 

 

Two minutes later...

 

 
 

One minute later...


  


Thirty seconds later...


 





And then I get my riot gear and wrestle the Oozie away from her.


The End

This happens every single night.

I have been planning this post ever since I first heard my mother scream "Fuck you, Farmville!" but I knew that it would take me a while to create. (Yay comics!) Seeing that today is my mother's birthday, I took the extra time to finally create her tale of Farmville angst.

Happy Birthday, to the most wonderful, supportive, amazing Mumma ever! I love you, you crazy woman!

Rated X for: , , , ,
By Katsidhe at 7:30 AM

44 comments:

  1. Well, for the record, "FUCK YOU FARMVILLE" is a pretty awesome battle cry.


    And now I know in addition to sharing my birthday with my bestie, Abraham Lincoln, I also share it with the amazing woman that is your mom. Please invite her to a birthday soiree I'm having for me and Mr. Lincoln. We're going to have a stovetop-hat-shaped cake. The invitations are in the shape of the Emancipation* Proclamation. I'm either going to dress up as Mary Todd Lincoln or Abraham Lincoln's facial hair. It's going to be AWESOME.



    *I originally typed this as Epancipation Proclamation and couldn't figure out why spell check said it was wrong. Then I got a brilliant idea to host an Epantsipation Proclamation Party where we all cast off the tyranny of pants. I'm thinking this may be a better idea than my Abraham Lincoln party. Stay tuned.

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    1. I'm thinking of making a shirt for her that says "Fuck you, Farmville". And yes, it's pretty brilliant that two of my favorite ladies are born on the same day. =)

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  2. Happy birthday to your momma! And what a great post for her! That is completely hysterical, her screaming at Farmville. I don't play it, but that's the kind of crap that would set me off, too. I rarely have yelled at humans, but games and inatimate objects can make me want to smash them! And sometimes my cats, too ;)

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    1. Cats kinda qualify as inanimate objects with how much they sleep. ;-P

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  3. This is better than any Hallmark card that she could ever get! I personalized cartoon of how much enthusiasm she has for her gaming?!? Good on her! Happy birthday Kat's mom!

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    1. I'm blessed that she has the sense of humor to appreciate my birthday post for her!

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  4. Kind of reminds me of my kind-hearted, mellow dad when he watches sports. It can get ugly.

    Happy Birthday to your mom! She sounds like the type of person I would love to meet. :)

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    1. She would like to meet you, too, because you are such a sweetheart. =) The sad thing is that when she gets made none of sympathize because it's just so funny to see her so worked up.

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  5. Oh man. My mom has 4 fake FB accounts so she can cheat on it. Seriously.

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    1. My grandmother has two. e_e She doesn't flip out (that I am aware since I don't live with her), so I'm not sure if she's better or worse than her daughter.

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  6. Absolutely hilarious, and well-written as always! Keep up the great work!

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  7. Cute post for your mom.

    I kind of holler "fuck you farmville" every time I get a damn invite. Also for my mom? Let's just say I can't handle being her tech support. At all.

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    1. I feel bad for the FV tech people because my mother has been on there a number of times to complain about being cheated by the game. (She always does it nicely though at least.)

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  8. Ha ha. This is so true. Thanks for the laugh this lunchtime.

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  9. Haha Kat man, you make me laugh. And I love the South Park-esque cartoons. Happy Birthday Kats Momma!!! Oh, and "Fuck You, Farmville"

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    1. Instead of "Happy Birthday" we all sang "Fuck you, Farmville" before she got her cake.

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  10. This post is phenomenal! I know nothing about Farmville, but I do know how pissed I am when we are out of blueberries. Happy Birthday to Mom!

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  11. BAHAHHAHA this is hilarious. I'm so happy my mom doesn't play facebook games. I get enough game requests from my seventh grade english teacher...

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    1. Just wait. My grandmother wasn't on FB and then she got on with a vengence. The ladies can't resist it.

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  12. And this is why I will never try Farmville. Because it sucks you in and doesn't let go. It needs you constantly, and also makes you bug all of your friends so you can get more. It's like an out-of-control drug addiction.

    Happy birthday to your mom!

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    1. It truly is. My mother gets DTs when she's away from it for too long.

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  14. Hahahahaha. Love it. Also, your hair looks amazing :)

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    1. Haha! The hair is kind of an inside joke because my mother says that I flip my hair. XD

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  15. i totally agree.

    fuck you farmville!
    but then
    anything to do with fb is a shit storm of sucks you in...

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    1. It is. I've been trying to avoid it because it's such a time suck.
      And it's so nice to hear from you, bruce! =D

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  16. I was able to drop my farmville addiction before it got out of control. Unfortunately, it seems like your mother is completely sucked in and there is no hope for her.

    Maybe you could water her crops for her birthday?

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    1. I water the hell out of her damn crops ALL OF THE TIME because she'll ask me to get on FB so that I can help her with a mission.

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  17. I couldn't get past the fact that your hair was blowing out to the side, as if by a tropical breeze, or perhaps a well placed fan, like models do. Well played, Kat, well played.

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    1. Yeah I was kinda laughing when I made my hair like that, too. =P

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  18. Aww, my grandma plays Farmville to, but instead of freaking out she picks up the phone and bully people into logging in and helping her.

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    1. MY GRANDMOTHER DOES THAT TOO! AND my mom, only she can just shout across the room for me to help her.

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  19. Love the shit out of this! Happy B-day to Kat's mom. Also - this is how I behave whenever I play any Mario anything. It gets bad. My husband, who was in the Navy, is like "Babe, last time you played Mario, you said things I've never heard come out of anybody's mouth." Took it as a compliment.

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    1. What is it about these games that bring out our inner sailor? I'm trying to remember if I've ever flipped out over a game and I can't really think of an instance--that's not to say that I haven't ever though.

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  20. Haha. This is awesome! I love that your mom is so in love with the game! Your cartoon is hilarious!

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    1. It's kind of a love/hate relationship. And thank you! =)

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  21. Happy birthday to her!

    And I've been looking forward to this post ever since we talked about it at Chickie's and Pete's :)

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    1. I can't believe that I've been talking about it for that long! It just shows you how long I've been dealing with this trauma!

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  22. Also, thank you so much to everyone for the birthday wishes to my mother. She was really touched by all of the them. =)

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Do you play croquet?

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