When Mothers Yell To Bite Them

My mother is quite the pistol. Whether she’s insisting that there is a  dead cow in the road or smashing apart an entertainment center with a hammer, she’s an endless fount of entertainment. What I neglect to mention on here though is that my mother is the kindest, most loving person that you will ever meet. Seriously, Jewels can vouch for my mother’s sweet personality and super hugs. Aside from her hugs she also does things like rescuing squirrels from swimming pools (long story) and catching mice with a set of tongs and taking them outside instead of trapping them. She also puts up with my shenanigans which automatically makes her a saint., but not only that has supported my dream of being a writer and never stopped believing in it when a lot of parents would tell their daughters to grow up and get a real job. Finally she is incredibly patient and despite being half Irish she has very a long fuse and doesn’t easily lose her temper, and she rarely curses.

That is of course except during her daily trips to Farmville.

As I’m sure that anyone on Facebook knows Farmville is a virtual farm where the player can grow crops, build little buildings and complete missions. It’s simply charming. Unfortunatly the game is full of glitches and between that and Facebook’s new feed system where my mother’s Farmville friends don’t see her posts for them to help with the missions, she flips shit at least twice an evening.

farmville comicfarmville comic 2 Farmville comic 3 Farmville comic 4

Two minutes later…

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One minute later…

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Thirty seconds later…

Farmville comic 13 Farmville comic 14 Farmville comic 15 Farmville comic 16 Farmville comic 17Farmville comic 18Farmville comic 19

And then I get my riot gear and wrestle the Oozie away from her.


This happens every single night.

I have been planning this post ever since I first heard my mother scream “Fuck you, Farmville!” but I knew that it would take me a while to create. (Yay comics!) Seeing that today is my mother’s birthday, I took the extra time to finally create her tale of Farmville angst.

Happy Birthday, to the most wonderful, supportive, amazing Mumma ever! I love you, you crazy woman!

44 thoughts on “When Mothers Yell To Bite Them

  1. Well, for the record, “FUCK YOU FARMVILLE” is a pretty awesome battle cry.

    And now I know in addition to sharing my birthday with my bestie, Abraham Lincoln, I also share it with the amazing woman that is your mom. Please invite her to a birthday soiree I’m having for me and Mr. Lincoln. We’re going to have a stovetop-hat-shaped cake. The invitations are in the shape of the Emancipation* Proclamation. I’m either going to dress up as Mary Todd Lincoln or Abraham Lincoln’s facial hair. It’s going to be AWESOME.

    *I originally typed this as Epancipation Proclamation and couldn’t figure out why spell check said it was wrong. Then I got a brilliant idea to host an Epantsipation Proclamation Party where we all cast off the tyranny of pants. I’m thinking this may be a better idea than my Abraham Lincoln party. Stay tuned.

  2. Happy birthday to your momma! And what a great post for her! That is completely hysterical, her screaming at Farmville. I don’t play it, but that’s the kind of crap that would set me off, too. I rarely have yelled at humans, but games and inatimate objects can make me want to smash them! And sometimes my cats, too 😉

  3. Love the shit out of this! Happy B-day to Kat’s mom. Also – this is how I behave whenever I play any Mario anything. It gets bad. My husband, who was in the Navy, is like “Babe, last time you played Mario, you said things I’ve never heard come out of anybody’s mouth.” Took it as a compliment.

    • What is it about these games that bring out our inner sailor? I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever flipped out over a game and I can’t really think of an instance–that’s not to say that I haven’t ever though.

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