|My DOG is a better driver!|
(Don't get all sanctimonious on me, like you've never thought about traumatizing a student driver.)
The second thought I have is that these student drivers are some lucky assholes! They can drive like some kind of maniac and it's cool because "they're learning". It then occured to me that I need one of these student driver signs. If I had a bright yellow sign that said "Kat's Driving School" I could turn at illegal red lights, drive down the wrong direction on one-way streets and speed like a motherfucker, and no cops would stop me because, hey, I'm just learning officer and I promise to better next time. I'm not greedy either, so I'm even willing to take new students into my driving "school" and hook them up with a sign granted that they pass my own personal driving test. I could go over what that test entails but that's another post entirely. Suffice to say that if you drive the way that I drive (brilliantly of course) then I'll help you to break the road laws.
(*The exception was when I wondered if the 120 MPH mark on my dad's car's speedometer was just for show or if the car could really go that fast.**)
(**FYI, the answer is that it can.)
I don't think it's too much to ask that a driver does the speed limit, but I've found that seniors like to drive at approximately half of the limit. The solution to this problem is in the senior's car. I think that after a person turns sixty that they should only be allowed to drive cars that are shaped like a wedge with the low side face the back. This way when a senior is poking along, pulling a Gandolf and insisting that "you shall not pass!", you can rev your car right up the back of their's and Dukes of Hazard over that shit. They get to poke along the road and the rest of us get to make to our fucking job on time.
This concludes this latest edition of my helpful posts, and as always: