A Drunk Unicorn

Why is the unicorn drunk? Because it drank half of my Tequila.

The question is: Is this a good thing?

Well, on one hand you have an intoxicated equine with a long, sharp protrusion stumbling around and at some point I’m sure that someone is going to get stabbed. Also, the brat stole half of my damn Tequila.

On the other hand, it’s a fucking unicorn! If I was going to share any of my precious Tequila it would definitely be with a unicorn. I wouldn’t even mind any unicorn slobber that got in my glass. As for the inevitable stabbing, yeah that would rather suck. But again I must point out that it’s a fucking unicorn, and if you have the choice between never seeing a unicorn and being stabbed by one, I’m going to go with stab away.

The point of this bit of what-the-fuck-is-Kat-talking-about?

go home unicorn you're drunk, drunk unicorn, tequilaThis is my own version of the glass half-full versus the glass half-empty scenario.

Last week I had my first two disappointments as a writer. (Truth be told, last week was psycho crazy or I would have updated sooner.) One of the disappointments was that I found out that I’d lost a writing contest that I had entered. It’s really not a big deal, but the magazine took six months to pick winners and after such a long wait (I’m very fucking impatient) I felt the punch harder than I usually would have. This is the nature of the beast though. Waiting six months for anything is not unusual, and disappointment is the rule rather than the exception, so you suck it up and work harder. The good news is that I can post the short story that I had submitted on here again for ya’all to read! *throws confetti* The other good news is that submitted this story forced me into finally coming up with a title for it. So here is Borne of Armour. For new readers, a quick warning that this is one of my rare “heavy” stories.

Another good news/bad news bit to mention is that I never heard from the winner of my first giveaway. It sucks for them to miss out on an awesome shirt, but the good news is that I’d picked a runner up who will be getting an awesome shirt and ad space on the sidebar. Congratulations to the incredibly lovely, Michael from Crazy Tragic Almost Magic! Her blog is both funny and touching so make sure to check her out!

On a final note, if you’ve been in the tales for a while then you know that I love October and I love, love, love Halloween. I have some really nifty stuff planned for this month to celebrate, and even if my current health status (which is unfortunately subpar thanks to the old ticker being a grab) keeps me from doing half of it (I’ve lots in mind) there will still be a shit ton of fun to be had up in here! I’M FUCKING EXCITED!

*gallops away on my unicorn laughing manically *

(This entry is also No. 28 on my 30 Posts of Shameless Shit, “Discuss a failure.” However I’m galloping off on a unicorn and drinking Tequila while failing so it’s pretty cool.)

16 thoughts on “A Drunk Unicorn

  1. A drunken unicorn would be freaking hilarious to watch! Just put a big cork over the tip of its horn, and then we can all enjoy the awesomeness without any stabbings. I think it could work.

    I’m kind of freaked out that it’s October already, though. This year has gone by WAY too fast! Oh well. I may as well enjoy it. Trick or treat, Bitches! đŸ™‚

  2. Am I the first one to follow the white rabbit? Yay! Bummer about the contest and that it took so long but at least it brought us the drunk unicorn and for that I thank you =) Also, you should have won that contest imho b/c that short story is awesome


  3. Personally, I would be quite upset if a unicorn drank my alcohol!

    And dammit! I didn’t win! I really wanted to dress like a slut and take pictures for you!

  4. ME?!? Aww!! I’m so honored/excited/sober! One of those needs to change! HUGE THANK YOU’s!!

    That’s disappointing about the story but I know you’ll push back and write harder.

  5. YAY for Michael! đŸ˜€ So stoked to see her in that shirt. hehe.

    I hope we can get together this Saturday cause I wanna see your unicorn!! I’ll even let it stab me (in a non-vital place). Sorry bout the writing competition, mama, but it’s their loss. That story is freaking amazing.

  6. Kat! I hope you feel better soon.

    The unicorn-tequila party sounds like the perfect one to invite those, ahem, friends who just don’t ever get the hint that you’re not really interested in being friends with them. “Come on over, we’re partying! Oh, me and my unicorn.”

    After enough tequila and a little luck, there will be stabbings galore and you’ll have 2 or 3 fewer stalkers to deal with. Good stuff.

  7. I for one and glad that CTAM gets to sport your awesome WLAS gear and send a pic of her lovelies in for us to admire! Hooray!
    As for the idiots overlooking your brilliance… I say pissshhaw~ they don’t know what they are missing!

  8. Those magazine people missed out on something awesome. Because your writing rocks.

    As for the unicorn. I love the way you think. Although I would suggest tha the next time he comes by, you stick a big gooey marshmallow on his horn and then no one gets hurt

  9. I much prefer your half-full/half-empty scenario.

    Also, Michael is awesome, and she deserves it!

    And finally, I’m sorry you didn’t win, but that piece was one of my favorite pieces of yours when you originally posted it, and I’d love to see some more of that on here!!

  10. I can’t believe someone would not accept a gift. I’m glad it went to Michael. She’s awesome and absolutely deserves it.

    Also, isn’t waiting for a response terrible? It’s my least favorite part of writing, especially with agents and editors. Send away your life’s work, wait 6 months to a year, and sometimes, worst of all, they just don’t respond. Then they get mad when you “badger” them by asking what their status is.

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