She didn't speak to me for the rest of the luncheon.
As some of you may know, I was married once. And for those of you who just found out now, I'll wait while you pick yourself up off of the floor. It was quite literally a lifetime ago and, unlike a lot of women, I don't care if I'm ever in a relationship again. That's not to say that I'm actively opposed to the idea, but rather indifferent. I have however been told that I'm subconsciously avoiding a "real" relationship based on the guys that I've dated since my liberation. Yes, apparently dating younger men is an avoidance tactic.
Actually I can tell you exactly why it just so happens that all of my suitors have been younger than I am and that's because most guys my age or older are already
(*For the record, I know this is not true for all single guys over thirty, I'm just saying that this has been my experience.)
((And guys, feel free to say the same thing about single women in their thirties being mental because, particularly in my case, I will not disagree.))
Ages aside though I have recently found out the true reason why I cannot see myself ever having a relationship, and this is thanks to my recent re-pimping of past posts.
When I first posted Probably (One of) The Wrongest Stories I Will Ever Tell You the general consensus was that it was indeed a very "wrong" story. I have, however, been receiving a few messages and emails from women asking how this story is wrong. At first I thought that they were being facetious, but image my surprise when I discovered that, no, a handful (HAHA!) of these women were serious. One woman told me, "I think that everyone has done this and they just won't admit it."
I replied with, "I have not. But then I don't date much."
Her response was, "Seriously. You might want to think about it. When you find the right guy you'll want to give a try."
And there you have it, peeps. This is why I will never be in a relationship.
Because I can honestly say that I will never find someone with whom I am be so enamored that I will want to try holding his tally-whacker while he pees.
Consider No. 22 on my List of Shameless Shit, "Set a Boundary" done because I've just decided that the doorway to the bathroom is a sacred boundary that will not be crossed.
Calen Spindler on Google+