Today is the last day of The Detox.
I’d jump up and down with joy if I could muster the energy, so instead I’ll just lie here pathetically and whimper out a weak “yahoo!”. I will however muster the strength to give a huge thank you to everyone for all of your wonderful and encouraging comments on my last post where I first mentioned The Detox. Day Four was a really difficult day and it helped me so much to have all of your rah-rahs to help me throughout it. You guys are all amazing.
I still have two days left of The-Work-Schedule-That-Ate-My-Soul, but–and I will kick my own ass so fucking hard if I’m jinxing myself by talking about it–tomorrow looks light and we might *gasp* get out early! It will also help tomorrow go easier that I will be able to eat real food again, so even if I have just jinxed the schedule, I’ll still be a much happier camper at work than I have this past week of Hell.
Tomorrow will also be the last day of Lent and in honour of Soft-Core Friday, I’ll let you all know that I am going to make sweet, sweet love to the first bar of chocolate that I get my hands on on Sunday. At Easter brunch when the waitress asks me what kind of eggs I want I’m going to reply, “Reese’s peanut butter ones, please.” and then I will proceed to ravage them like a Marine with a two dollar prostitute on shore leave. All surrounding diners should cover their children’s eyes because it will be obscene.
(I’m not even joking; I have an unhealthy and unholy love of those eggs.)
I’m going to close with a little “Easter Chocolate by The Numbers” via The Journal. It turns out that I come by my chocolate addiction naturally as I just learned that Irish folks will consume 9.5 million chocolate Easter eggs this year, the equivalent of a thousand tons of chocolate. (That might barely scratch the surface of satisfying my chocolate-holism.) In true Irish form though, we will also be consuming enough wine to fill 204,000 bathtubs and enough beer to fill over six Olympic-sized swimming pools. (I demand a recount on that last bit of data since I am positive that more than that much beer will be swilled on Easter. Or any day of the week for that matter.)
I hope you all do your part to consume as much chocolate, wine and colored peeps as possible and have a Happy Easter, my peeps!