What do you do when you are pressed for time and your eyes are strained, but you haven’t done a blog post in over a week?
DO A LIST!
- This is the ultimate blog post cheat since I make lists all the time anyway.
- I worked ALL. DAY. YESTERDAY. on finishing the book I’ve been writing procrastinating about for years because I’ve had it, and this fucker is getting finished within six months.
- I have eye strain from this.
- The irony of being an optometry tech yet suffering from eye strain is not lost on me.
- The irony of being a part-time optometry tech yet working 40+ a week is not lost on me either.
- The irony of the term “fresh frozen” is a little lost on me.
- If the Zombie Apocalypse comes before I’m finished writing my book, I will postpone kicking zombie ass and feeding hipsters to them until after I’m done this book.
- That is remarkable because I’ve been training for the Zombie Apocalypse my entire life and I really hate hipsters.
- I am a Twittering MASTER!
- I’ve decided to use the word “twittering” as a synonym for “using a vibrator” from now on.
- Number 9 is still accurate.
- In related news, my dear sweet friend, Jewels, reposted one of my smut pieces on her Naughty Nothings blog.
- You are welcome, from both of us.
- I (← Hey kids! This is a link to Kat’s Twitter account because she’s an attention whore!) share credit for the best hashtags ever ie: #hecklingbuildscharacter with my loves, Nicki and Celia and #randomsnugglepunch with darling RandyGirl.
- My most retweeted tweet was “Was a Republican 4 Halloween. Gave all the candy 2 the big kids & told the small ones that they could have candy if the big kids dropped it.”
- My second most retweeted tweet is “I’m later than Odysseus returning from Troy”.
- Conclusion: I think about twittering too much lately.
- Heh heh heh.
- Baked ziti and coffee taste horrible together.
- I want both baked ziti and coffee right now so I’m consuming them together anyway.
- My eyes really fucking hurt, but I’m writing this because I love you guys!
- Random dildo statement.
- I probably didn’t need number 22. since I only say “dildo” when my entry is becoming disturbingly coherent and I don’t think that “coherent” accurately describes this post.
- I’ve been engaged in psychological warfare with my upstairs neighbor where he screams like a fucking banshee during football games and I belt out ABBA karaoke.
- We’re probably both going to get evicted for disturbing the peace before it’s over.
- I get more immature than usual when I’m tired.
- Uranus has 27 moons. *snickers*
We will return to your regularly scheduled what-the-fuckery as soon as it doesn’t feel like I soaked my contacts in lemon juice.