I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news, my dear peeps.
The bad news is that I got food poisoning and despite what some people might think, it doesn’t make the holidays bright.
The good news is…
This fucking blows! Literally! I don’t know what bacteria it was which invaded my darling body, but whatever it was, said body attacked it with extreme prejudice, throwing an unholy fit and calling for mass evacuation of all cavities! It was very fucking rude too because I had planned on renting the food I had eaten for a little longer than two hours!
Anyway, for some reason I get the urge to make cartoons when I’m sick, like how I made this little gem back when I had the flu in February, so you get to hear the “Tale of the Turntail Tuna” in comic form.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Kat who was very excited to be going out with her friend, Jewels.
Jewels and Kat went to a cute li’l “pop shop” and ordered a sumptuous feast complete with fries, a large tuna sandwich, and milk shakes for dessert.
About half an hour after finishing their food, Kat began to notice a rumbling in her tummy.
Kat continued to ignore the obvious disturbance in the force because, as has been stated in previous Stupid Kat Tricks, she has issues with denial. (Also in this case, she really wanted to catch up with her friend, Jewels.)
She did wonder if she had suddenly fallen in an Alien movie. Kat only hoped that it was the first or second Alien, since the third and fourth movies sucked.
After a couple of hours, Kat and Jewels decided to head back to her place to chat some more.
As soon as they reached Kat’s apartment though, Kat was forced to make a mad dash for the loo. She emerged after a while, disheveled and clammy, but sure that the torture would pass and that she would be free to continue the visit with Jewels.
The girls then agreed to cut their visit short and catch up again after Christmas. After Jewels left Kat calmly admitted to herself that her tummy hurt a bit.
Of course, her low blood pressure and parasympathetic response to adrenaline meant that she blacked out a few times from the excruciating pain. Kat called her aunt for help (shocking since Kat doesn’t ask for help) and to bring her medication (double shocking since Kat has an aversion to medicines).
(FUN BONUS FACT! Both residents of Kat’s abode–herself and her dog–can now lay claim to having thrown up on the carpet!)
Kat finally came up with a logical and mature solution to her battle with food poisoning.
Her aunt disagreed with this solution; she got Kat Gatorade instead.
I’m doing much better now.
Also? If this entry doesn’t satisfy number 19: Share details of a bodily function or fluid on my List of Shameless Shit, then I don’t know what would.
**All of these ridiculous pictures were created at SP-Studio.