Go on, I'll wait.
I don't even know where to begin.
I guess I'll start by saying, you are welcome.
Next I'll go with, WHAT IN THE MOTHER OF FUCK IS THIS?!?! SERIOUSLY???
Okay, let's get the obvious out of the way and wonder why the fuck any woman would want to walk around with erect nipples in the first place. I'm not sure how this says 'I feel sexy' because all I'm hearing is 'I feel cold'. Growing up with a male best friend, I would go to great lengths to not be buked.
(FYI "buked" rhymes with puked, and yes we made up a term to mean having erect nipples.)
((FYI 2: Also acceptable is "buker-ish".))
(((FYI 3: That male best friend is still my
 |
| Yes, "Sticky Nips": for when a cone bra is not projective enough. |
And now for the pièce de résistance. "Sticky Nips" are not some isolated fluky product. Two days after I was exposed (HAHAHA!) to "Sticky Nips", my dear friend and fellow blogger, Jewels, posted about "Body Perks". WHAAAAAT?? For some reason, the idea that there is an entire market for this shit has blown my mind the most.
Finally, is anyone else as scarred by the senior citizen endorsement in the middle of the infomercial as I am?
*shudders*
I need off of this planet.
You could make a hell of a drinking game out of using the words "wow" and "excited" as your drink triggers. How distracting are those things??? I was just as floored when Jewels posted on her nip enhancer product but to know there are two?? Scooch over love, I'm joining you on the trip off this planet!
ReplyDelete“For when you really want to be noticed”. Because, the only way women can get and hold a man’s attention is by drawing excessive attention to our breasts. I’m so glad it’s still the year 1950. Oh wait. My inner feminist just died a little. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteThis is fake, right? OMFG PLEASE someone tell me it's fake!!! Because if it's fake then my soul doesn't have to die.
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say, "without nipples breast wouldn't have a point." I'm just curious if they make them for men too... wait no I'm not, I take it back. Please DO NOT inform me if they do.
ReplyDeleteI think these are straight genius and am confused as to what everyone's complaining about.
ReplyDelete;)
Wasn't this a really popular trend a few years back? Letting your nipples hang out?
ReplyDeleteI love how the commercial goes "for when you really WANT to be noticed," and cuts to a woman clearly giving a presentation at work. Right, that's the kind of "noticed" women in the workplace want to be. Maybe on mad men.
Oh my goodness. At least Body Perks has a classier name than "Sticky Nips" I am cringing and laughing all at once! The senior lady who got her "sexy back" made me throw up a little in my mouth. What the hell is wrong with people? The only market for these are drag queens...and then I fully support their use cause it's just greatness...but women should NEVER, ever, use these.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout out my love! :)
(staring at keyboard unsure of what to type)
ReplyDeletegotta say it and you know I love you guys but OMG, that is just nuts.
ReplyDeleteI cant believe anybody would actually buy and wear them.
Gives a whole new meaning to "power point presentation".....lol. As always Kat you start my day with a smile!
ReplyDeleteIf I was a woman I would get them but put them in awkward places like the side of my shoulder or the middle of my back. Talk about a conversation starter. Or stopper. Whatever.
ReplyDeleteI thought you called them bunny noses . . . I want one to stick right in the center of my chest above my cleavage like a target.
ReplyDeletei thought maybe this was fake too, but the place i saw it was on the smoking jacket, a playboy site, and the writer was certainly giving the impression that he had seen it on late night tv.
ReplyDeletei hope the adhesive is strong, because you don't want that %$%$ falling off. "Um, miss, I think your....nipple is there on the ground..."
I'm feeling a little left out. Can someone please explain to me why there isn't a Men's line of Sticky Nips? I need mine with extra fur, please.
ReplyDeleteThey have to win the WTF!!! of the year award. Don't know whether to laugh or cry...
ReplyDeletedude, my real ones are problem enough on a cold day. i do not enjoy. just.... WHY!? and also.. HAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteWhere can I get mine? The perfect Christmas gift. I'm sure my kids will be so proud when I show up at their school functions with my new sticky nips!
ReplyDelete@Mooog35 had me nearly peeing my pants & that's the best idea yet! ;-P Now wasn't there a product a few years ago to HIDE one's nipples??? And what happens if you get a guy interested & as you are stripping, he gets to watch you remove your FAKE nips??? What is the POINT? Maybe for women who have fake boobs from cancer or ? What;s wrong with au naturel? Just rub some ice on 'em & look out hot momma. Heh heh. Sheesh what will they come up with next? Dick Nips?
ReplyDeleteBTW, this made up for a week of no posts, just about. I was getting worried...knew some kind of what the fuckery HAD to be going on...
ReplyDeletethis is quite an interesting concept. I'm not really sure what I would think if a girl showed me her "Bedazzled Nipples"...
ReplyDeleteI have no words. It's right up there with vajazzling.
ReplyDelete@RandyGirl- *skooches over* *brings Tequila to take on our trip off planet*
ReplyDelete@Haven-So did mine. And I didn't even know there was one lurking in me...
@sugar-free-thoughts-I mourn your soul, darlin'; it's real.
@Hero-There's no rule that says that these can't be used for men!
@Ashley and Stephanie-Of course not. ;)
@Gia-The work presentation scene is definitely the most WTF situation. It even tops the senior citizen.
@According to Jewels-I agree that Body Perks is at least a classier (I can't believe I'm using that word in the same sentence as this shit) name for these monstrosities.
@Thank_Q-I know the feeling, love.
@Mynx-My bestie swears that he's going to buy them. But then he's a sicko.
@K.L.Richardson-Thank you so much! I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
@Moooooog35-I think someone should put two lines of them down their front like how animals have.
@Steph aka Carpe_Comma-Oh I still call them that, but I was trying to remain professional in light of this serious take on the topic of nips.
@in bed with married women-Can you imagine if your lover gets a little frisky with your boobs during foreplay?
@A Beer for the Shower-Just get these! Though you'll have to add your own fur I'm afraid.
@Eriu-I laughed, cried, and died a bit.
@alyssa-HOLLA!
@Blondie McBaffled-How could they not be proud of how noticeable you will be? It's win!
@AWOLGina-I'm glad that my post was good enough to make up for my absence, love!~
@juice2k8-Maybe you wouldn't notice since they come in FOUR DIFFERENT FLESH TONES? =D
@Stephanie-It's pretty fucked up indeed, yes?
The fuck? I tweeted this post but I didn't comment?
ReplyDeleteSo I tell Derrick about this post and he's all like, duh, for women with breast cancer ((which, granted, was my first thought)) and I was like, honey, no. NO. They are STICKERS, first of all. And secondly, you did not see the commercial. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. WATCH IT AND WE'LL TALK.
He has not watched it. We have yet to talk.
But we will. We WILL.