The Halloween-palooza continues!
When I posted Tuesday’s Halloween-palooza entry, I was keenly aware that my movie clips, hilarious though they were, might still creep out those who are very spooky-sensitive. In particular, I thought of my very dear friend, Jewels, who is so notorious for being freaked out by spookables that I had even considered adding a disclaimer to the Evil Dead 2 clip because I thought that the laughing deer might scare her a bit. I am very proud of her though, because Jewels was a trooper and she did watch my hilarious-horror clips–you go, darlin’! After reading the comment that she left me on that entry, I was struck with the brilliant idea to ask Jewels to present her views on Halloween as a chickie who loves the holiday, yet doesn’t enjoy scares. She rose to the request in her usual awesome fashion, and so it gives me uber happiness to announce that today I am hosting my first every guest post!
Check out Jewels’ thoughts on Halloween scares on here, and then head over to her place at According to Jewels, for her views on scary movies in particular. And can I just say even I did not have the cajones to post a picture of fucking Linda Blair from The Exorcist in horror movie post, Jewels!! WTF, girl?!?!?
Also! If you want a completely different kinda Halloween story, Jewels also has a naughty blog, called Naughty Nothings, and she has posted a Halloween tale on there that will give you goosebumps for a very different reason, nomsayin’? *wink, wink*
And now without further who-na-na from Kat, I present a post by a wonderful person and brilliant writer, my lovely friend Jewels.~
Thank you so much for writing for me, sweetie. xx
I have to thank the amazingly talented Kat for hosting me here today. I will warn you that in comparison I pale to her genius but I make up for it with an overwhelming desire to please…it’s sad really. Since we share a love for Halloween but for totally different reasons I was thrilled to agree to do a guest post for her…plus you don’t say no to her…she has nunchucks and knows how to use them!
I have never made it a secret that I am a giant baby and thus it should come as no shock that while I love Halloween I loathe being scared. There are some people that don’t necessarily like scary things but they like the adrenaline of being scared (take my lovely host Kat for example)…that is NOT me. For me there is nothing more likely to cause my fist to meet your face than scaring me around a corner or in a dark room. My first reaction is scream and strike. People around me have been warned prior to any forms of pranking and now think twice (or scare from behind the safety zone line) before scaring me. To me being scared is like being tickled past the point of “haha” and jumping straight to the “OH MY GOD STOP OR I WILL KILL YOU” feeling. You know the one I’m talking about…don’t pretend that you don’t.
There are certain friends of mine who take great pride in conning me into watching scary movies. Can I watch them? Sure, I have eyes after all. Do I enjoy them? Shit no! I will soldier through watching the movie with my hands, pillows, or both, over my eyes the majority of the time. I will be screaming, jumping, and excusing myself more than necessary to use the restroom or get more water (who am I kidding…I’m getting booze to build my nerves) whenever the music starts to build. I will grab, slap, squeeze, and even punch whatever part of your body is nearest to me if you have the misfortune of being next to me when I get scared. I have even been known to bite down on the shoulder of one unfortunate man when I didn’t want to scream and wake other people in the house (then again I do this when not scared if you get my drift…hehe). Yeah…I get that scared. I really don’t understand why people enjoy scaring me that much…then again I’m sure I make a pretty amusing vision while I’m jumping, hiding, and screaming, “No no no! Don’t go down there!” at the screen.
Even if I get through the movie with my brave big girl face on I am storing those images, those fears, and those characters in my brain and believe me when I say they come back to haunt me. I have this incredible imagination and it goes on tangents of its own against my will all the time. I daydream, I have vivid dreams, I even have night terrors so I don’t need help with my over active imagination. Every killer and psychopath meets me that night when my head hits the pillow. Every sound, breeze, shadow, or branch on a window becomes a threat to my life and sleep never comes. Every toe over the edge of the bed is in jeopardy and every time I close my eyes I swear I hear the killer breathing right down my neck. If I turn my back to the door they could sneak up on me but if I face the other way the window is in my blind spot. Fuck…I’ll just sleep on my back–but then all my vital organs are exposed and vulnerable…sleep on my stomach and I’m defenseless. See where I am going here? I don’t shut down my brain and think logically…I’m in panic/survival mode from an unreal and ridiculous foe.
Haunted houses are always popular this time of year of course and here’s a shocker…I don’t do well in haunted houses! I learned the hard way in high school when I went through with friends and straight up peed my pants I was so scared. Yes, that actually happened…and yes for some reason I’m sharing it. *shakes head* Hilarious, huh? My friends and family seem to think so but I beg to differ. This time of year I do a lot of quick channel changes and mute button pushing to avoid all the scary movie trailers. I absolutely refuse to attend any events where there will be scary movies playing or haunted houses involved. This doesn’t mean I don’t love Halloween…I do! I love the kids’ excitement, the fun decorations, giving out candy and seeing all the cute costumes. I am a night owl so I love any “holiday” that is night oriented and I love an excuse to dress up…just please don’t scare me!