These Lyrics Aren’t X-Rated. Oh Wait, Yes They Are

On Wednesday my lovely Randy Girl said that she was drawing a blank for what to write in her blog that day and asked me for a suggestion.  Since I’m usually having inappropriate thoughts at any given moment, I asked Randy to tell her readers about the most inappropriate time that she became randy and what she did about it.  She more than rose to the challenge, and shared with us a very brilliant story of a bar and a Ryan Reynolds look-alike.  A very young Ryan Reynolds look-alike I might add.

Since turnabout is fair play, I told Randy that she could give me a prompt and she returned with “here is your prompt princess. Song lyrics that best match your sexual style. Cite specifics examples, details!Post it up biotch!”

I actually considered goofing off and saying something like “Elegantly Wasted” or “Hooker with a Penis” or “She-Bop” or “I Kissed a Girl” or getting really filthy and saying “Jingle Bells, but I decided to be (somewhat) serious instead, and go with Adam Lambert’s “For Your Entertainment”:

So hot out of the box
Can we pick up the pace
Turn it up, heat it up
I need to be entertained
Push the limit, are you with it?
Baby don’t be afraid
Imma hurt you real good baby

Let’s go it’s my show, baby, do what I say
Don’t trip off the glitz that I’m gonna display
I told you, Imma hold ya down until you’re amazed
Give it to ya til you’re screamin’ my name

No escaping when I start
Once I’m in I own your heart
There’s no way to ring the alarm
So hold on until it’s over

Oh! Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do
‘Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here for your entertainment

Oh! I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
You thought an angel swept you off your feet
But I’m about to turn up the heat
I’m here for your entertainment

Now my darling wants me to post examples and details of said song applies to my style, so here is an illustrated example of how someone mistakenly “thought an angel had swept him off his feet”.

STORY TIEMZ!

Once upon a time, there was a guy that I knew from my gym, who I’d been talking and flirting with for a few weeks.  One night he texted that he was in my area, and asked if I wanted to meet for a drink.  I didn’t have plans since it was a work night, so I met him at the gym, left my car there and we went to a local pub.

We’d only had a couple of beers when “Gym’s” roommate called because he had locked himself out of the house.  It wasn’t that late, so we decided that I would just go with Gym to the house and then we’d hit another bar after we let his roommate in.  We got to the house, let the roommate in and then we spent the next twenty minutes trying to help him find his key.

[sidenote: do not ever go poking around in a house where three single guys live.]

Rather than waste space talking about the Roommate’s epic quest all over south Jersey to get a key copied, I’ll just skip ahead and say that we ended up hanging out in the kitchen and having a few more beers there.  Now, this was the first pseudo-date that I had been on since a bad breakup, and I was indeed feeling a little shy that night.  After a couple of hours, I decided to call it a night.

naughty comic panel 1

Despite her demure composure, Kat was having impure thoughts.

naughty Panel 2 naughty Panel 3

So we started making out in the kitchen, and one thing lead to another and then he took it upon himself to hoist me up and head to the bedroom.  Okay, I’ll admit that it was kinda hot, but I don’t care if a guy can whip me around like a ragdoll, I’m still the Alpha, son.

naughty Panel 4 naughty Panel 5

He obviously needed to be put in his place.

naughty Panel 6

naughty Panel 7

Where’s his shirt? I think I shredded it with my claws…

Believe me, he didn’t complain. Though he did lament that his brain would never work function right again. *snicker*

naughty Panel 8 naughty Panel 9

The illustrations above where created at SP-Studio.  I’m sure they’d be so proud to learn how I’ve used their cartoon creator for my own filthy means.

31 thoughts on “These Lyrics Aren’t X-Rated. Oh Wait, Yes They Are

  1. O.M.F’ing.G! Sweet Kat, that is more than I ever could have hoped or dreamed for when I put that challenge out to you. Custom cartoon panels to illustrate your awesomeness??? Fuck Yeah!! And those song lyrics? We must do the business in a very similar fashion because I just schooled Fireman tonight in a very similar fashion this evening. Yum. Kat, when you and I make-out, it will be EPIC! Well done, love! *mwah* and *mwah* again darling!

  2. i’m going to ditto Rita’s bahahahahha…..
    and second a LOLOLOLOL….and a third…DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMN!

    That was greatness! hahaha. I love the prompts you gave eachother. I want one next time. hehe.

  3. Hahahahahahaha! The song was great, but the cartoon was brilliant! And I have to agree with Cinderita. I want to be hoisted up and carried into the bedroom too! And have all the clothes in shreds! Love this my dear!

  4. @My RandyGirl-I’m so glad that you like it, sweetie, because I really wanted to do justice to your prompt. :) Our makeout will most certainly be epic, darlin’.~ ;-)
    *mwah!*

    @OT-Thanks, OT! I’m glad that you enjoyed them. :)

    @Mynx-You should, Mynx-y! It was a lot of fun.~

    @Rita-Yeah, I have to admit that it was pretty hot.~ ^_^ Especially since I’m tall (between 5’8″ and 5’9″) and my ex was shorter than I am so he could never do stuff like that.

    @bruce-I’m glad your sock enjoyed it, boss.~

    @Jewels-Oh definitely! Just say when and I’m sure that either Randy or I could come up with a good prompt for you, dear. :)

    @Heather-Thank you, sugar-pie!~

    @Lemons Don’t Make Lemonade-Thank you, Lemon! And thank you for stopping by and reading, sweets~ :)

    @Hannah-I’m glad that my rockstar enjoyed it.~ ^_^

    @Galit Breen-Thank you, Galit! Thank you also for stopping by for a read.~ ^_^

    @lex-The cartoons were a lot of fun to make, but it took so LONG! I’m glad that everyone enjoyed them though because that made it completely worth the work. Thank you so much for coming over and reading, lex.~ :)

  5. @Annah-It *is* a pretty fun song, isn’t it? ^_^ I had originally put the youtube video in the post, but the entry was getting so long that I took it out. I should’ve left the link in there though. I’m glad that you liked it, sweetie.~

  6. Are you freaking kidding me?! I’m laughing my butt off right now, which I totally needed! Thanks for that! This was brilliant!!! You are seriously one of a kind in the best possible way!! Love it!

  7. @Bo’-Hahaha! I figured you’d not heed my warning and read away. ;-P Glad you enjoyed it, dear.~

    @Frisky-I’m so glad that I could give you a laugh when you needed it, love. Yeah, I’ve been told that I’m one of a kind [read: mental] before; thank you for thinking that this is a good thing.~ *hugs*

  8. @Pat-I’m glad that I gave you a laugh when you needed it, Pat. That always makes me so happy when people say that because that what I really want to do: to give people a few moments of silly entertainment when they need it. ^_^

  9. That was a freakin’ riot! I am soooo going to have you give me a topic to do someday, but it sure won’t be anything as good as what you just came up with. LOL

    TalkativeTaurus.com

  10. Hey, now, Dominant woman! This one didn’t inspire a post. Although maybe I shouldn’t have said that since it might have sent people to my blog in curiosity. LOL (It was your other post, funny lady!)

  11. *facepalm*

    I think I might have mentioned in one of the first comments that I left for you about being somthing of a bit of a ditz, yes? ^_^;

    This surely would have created a curiosity. ;-P

  12. Love it, Kitten.

    Love. It.

    Particularly the whip depiction.

    I prefer a riding crop, myself; there’s something just so deliciously ENGLISH about a riding crop, don’t you think?

    Furthermore, this ending was an inevitability, considering the Wonder Woman top and tousled auburn locks.

    So pleased you decided to go with it. So is Ms Carter, I’m sure.

    *mwah*

    *followed by appreciative ass slap*

    - B x

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